Q: How did writing The Upending of Wendall Forbes affect you?
A: This past May, I turned sixty-five. Pearl, my beloved, asked what I wanted for my birthday. When she turned sixty-five, she wanted a party. I booked a local venue and chef, put together a 1970s top-ten playlist, and a birth-to-sixty-five video to the tune of “What I Like About You,” by the Romantics. It was a blast.
Me? I wanted a casket. I had stumbled on the Fiddlehead Casket Kits website. “Build your own pine casket in under 30 minutes with this handcrafted casket kit,” it said, “delivered directly to your door.”
I told Pearl, “I want a casket for my birthday.”
“Okay,” she said.
I wanted a “handcrafted, environmentally friendly … locally made with Eastern Canadian pine casket.” I didn’t know why. I had no plan or desire to die anytime soon. Quite the opposite. I want to truly live. I had, however, spent the previous four years writing about the fictional Wendall and Ruby Forbes, who are twenty years my senior. They got me thinking about entering the final quarter of my life.
I am not in a hurry to use a casket, but I like the idea of having one nearby, reminding me, like Wendall and Ruby do, to love life, to pay attention, to listen, to play and create, and to love vulnerably. No one lives forever. At sixty-five, the possibility of dying becomes more imminent. I wanted a daily reminder to suck the marrow out of life. So, I ordered the kit and sent an email to four of our closest friends. Subject line: Strawberry, Rhubarb Crisp, Ice Cream and Casket Building.
On my birthday, I stacked the pine boards in the living room, poured wine for our friends, lit a candle and read Mary Oliver’s poem, “When Death Comes.”
It begins:
When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
It is more about life than it is about death:
When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
And:
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.
Our friends assembled the casket and moved it into my writing room, next to my desk, where it serves as a bookshelf. For now. “Love the idea of a simple pine casket, but won’t need it for a while? Put it to work right now!” Suggested the Fiddlehead website. “This bookshelf option adds 5 adjustable solid pine shelves.”
I am gradually adding items to the shelves that feel sacred: the fire pot from my days learning and teaching spiritual direction; the Star Blanket gifted to me by Anishinaabe elders, and the stole from my time as moderator of The United Church of Canada; a cross made of horseshoe nails and copper wire; copies of my books. Each item is a symbol, telling a story I carry.
Then we savoured the crisp and ice cream, our friendship and the end of the wine. It was a rich, perfect and early night. We’re getting old.
Friends!
Leonard Cohen told Interview Magazine, “To keep our hearts open is probably the most urgent responsibility you have as you get older.” Writing The Upending of Wendall Forbes reminded me to keep my heart open.
The Upending of Wendall Forbes by David Giuliano
About The Upending of Wendall Forbes:
Wendall and Ruby Forbes are confronting the vagaries of aging boomers: – sleeplessness, loneliness, memory loss, and the fear Ruby is showing signs of dementia. A blizzard hits their small town of Twenty-Six Mile House and a remarkable, perhaps unbelievable, band of strangers — : an Indigenous Colombian refugee, his environmental academic wife, an environmental academic, and their child; a young man on an accidental journey quest; a teenage activist and her ten-year-old gay half-brother; and a sleep consultant in from Indianapolis —– all take refuge in the Forbeses’ home.
In this heartwarming, funny, wise, and hopeful story, the companionship of strangers, a foul-mouthed raven, and a lynx, restore Wendall and Ruby’s hope for the future.
About David Giuliano:
David Giuliano is an award-winning writer of fiction and non-fiction. His first novel, The Undertaking of Billy Buffone (Latitude 46, 2021), was awarded the 2022 Bressani Prize for Fiction. It’s Good to Be Here: Stories We Tell About Cancer is a memoir about the power of story to heal. Postcards from the Valley, a collection of essays, was a Canadian bestseller. He has also published two illustrated children’s books. David lives on the north shore of Lake Superior.